Tactical Defence
by sdbubbles
Summary: The staff of Holby City Hospital is summoned to a 'meeting' that leads to fun, laughs, injuries and betting. Leddi, as well as a few other pairings! T rating is only because I'm paranoid about a few instances of cursing!
1. The Strategy

**A/N: So, I blame this fic on the military and tactical self-defence classes my brother and I go to, and I thought this could be fun to write. The plan is to have a chapter from the point of view of each character, with some hilarity and minor injuries along the way. I also hope to squeeze some Leddi and other pairings in here, as well as the personalities and relationships between the characters. If it's as much fun to read as it is to write, I'll be pleased :)**

**So I hope you enjoy!**

**Sarah x**

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"OK," Malick said. "We're going to pair you off, and then we'll begin. First, I want everybody to take their shoes off; we don't want any serious injuries." A few confused glances were shot around the room, but everyone did remove their shoes and place them to the sides of the many, many gym mats laid upon the floor. Everyone was in scrubs – there was no way in hell they could do this in suits, skirts and high heels – and were now barefoot.

"Right, then!" Jonny called, and the room fell quiet again. "Chrissie Williams and Luc Hemingway, you two stand on opposite sides of the mats, up at the top. Oliver Valentine and Eddi McKee will do the same to their right."

Chrissie, Luc, Eddi and Ollie grudgingly took the positions they were pretty much commanded into.

"Next to them, we have Tara Lo and Chantelle Lane," Malick continued from his clipboard. "Jonny and I will work here so everyone can see us." He pointed to his right and said, "Mo Effanga, Henrik Hanssen, you'll be working next to us."

"Sacha Levy and Elliot hope, next to them!" Jonny called, as Elliot and Sacha wandered to next to where Hanssen and Mo stood facing each other. "Then Jac Naylor and Michael Spence." Jac looked positively seething at being called to this 'meeting.' She had already suspected it wasn't what it appeared to be, and tried to get out of it, but there she stood, opposite Michael.

"And last but not least, Serena Campbell and Ric Griffin!" Malick finished the task of placing everyone where they were meant to be. "Jeez, no need to look so worried! We ain't gonna kill you!" he laughed at everyone's apprehensive expressions.

"OK, now that's sorted," Jonny began, "welcome to your self-defence session."

"I'm sorry," Michael interrupted. "Self-defence? What the hell?"

"Mr. Spence," Jonny addressed him politely. "Wouldn't you rather be able to protect yourself and your staff, rather than let some drunk, drugged up wee chav walk onto AAU and break someone's jaw, or worse?"

It was a rhetorical question that beat Michael into submissively stepping back, facing Jac and her know-it-all smirk, and an evil grin spread across his face. "Payback!" he whispered at her.

"We're gonna teach you how to stop an attack and take someone to the floor with seriously injuring them," Malick continued. "Now, if someone's going to attack you, with their fists, a knife, a syringe, a scalpel, anything, they're going to give you a physical warning. They could have you by the shirt, or the could lean or step forward slightly, or even just look at the floor. So, instead of blocking something the isn't there yet, you should hold your hands up in a passive-defensive way, so they know you don't want a fight," he demonstrated by holding his hands loosely, palms facing out, in front of his face.

"The other thing," Jonny added, "is, especially where I come from in bonny auld Scotland, if somebody's _that_ close to you or has grabbed your top, they're gonna try and head-butt you, but if you've got your hands up here, you can just let the moron destroy their own nose on your hand."

"But if you see a warning sign, and you see a punch or a strike coming, you _can _stop it. You don't block with any amount of force – they'll just take their hand back and try again – but you use your natural flinch reaction and put your hand out to stop them, and no more," explained Malck. He went to hit Jonny, who raised his arm to gently stop it.

"Then," continued the Scottish nurse, "you have an open space under the arm to grab your attacker's upper arm and push them around so you're behind them." Jonny demonstrated by putting his free hand through the gap and taking Malick's upper arm, and moved the original defending hand up to his shoulder, twisting him around so he was at his back.

"You take your knee and stick it up their arse," Jonny continued as he showed them on Malick's example, much to the amusement of Michael, Serena, Oliver and Ric, all four of whom sniggered. "You'll notice his back arches a bit. Then you can put your hands under their chin, with your elbows as close together as possible between their shoulder blades."

Jonny's hands were pressing Malick's neck, and his arms were on Malick's back. "Now," Malick said, "you should be able to push your elbows forwards slightly and they'll lose their balance and fall to the ground. From there, you should be able to twist their head so their cheek is pressing against your knee. The best thing is, they'll still be in your control, because you'll still have a hold of their head."

Jonny finished it by jerking his elbows forwards just a little, making Malick lose his balance and fall on his backside, and Jonny still had control of the head, which he promptly pressed into his own kneecap.

"It's really the best takedown we could teach you, because it doesn't require power or brute force," Jonny explained why he was teaching them this particular method of removing the threat from a person. "It also can't really properly injure the other person, which is an advantage because there's a common assault charge in England, so this helps you to avoid it should the idiot happen to be a chancer."

"It's a great thing to know because strength and force don't really come into it," Malick reiterated Jonny's point. "Dr. Lo could easily take down Mr. Hanssen with this. Nurse Lane could quite easily have me on the floor with this if I wasn't expecting it. They key is to come across as helpless, so they can't see it coming. Always keep your hands in front of you, so you seem like you're backing off, and you're not a threat to them."

They demonstrated on each other another three times to make sure everybody saw what they were supposed to be doing. Eddi and Luc glanced at each other, and Luc mouthed to her, "Someone is going to get hurt."

She stifled a laugh and nodded in agreement. "Tenner says Sacha ends up flat on his back ready to pass out," she whispered.

"I think Elliot will peg out before Sacha does," Luc contradicted her in a whisper. They slyly shook on it.

"You're on," Eddi smirked.

On the other end of the room, Michael turned to Ric and warned him quietly, "You're gonna have your hands full with Serena. Look at her," he told Ric, jerking his head towards the woman. "She could take someone down with that glare of hers alone, so imagine what she'll be able to do with this," he started to wind Ric up.

Ric turned on him and pointed out, "At least I'm not stuck fighting with Jac Naylor. You're in for a rougher time than me." Michael glanced at Jac and then back at Ric, his face draining white at the prospect.

"Wanna swap?" he suggested.

Ric just snorted and said, "No." Michael started pouting like a child, arrogant enough to think he would eventually get hi own way.

"Why not?" he demanded, coming across as extremely juvenile.

"Because I'm not stupid," he replied with a small smile. He would much rather come up against Serena than Jac any day. After all, Serena, although she was a force to be reckoned with in many ways, was the sort of person who, physically, would just protect herself if the need was to arise, but Jac was more than capable of being just plain vicious, and it was a relief to see Serena opposite him instead of the younger, more cut-throat woman.

They heard the order to start practising, and the sounds of people slamming to the ground and swearing as people were a bit too rough filled the room.

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**Hope it's OK!  
Please leave a review and tell me what you think of it!  
Sarah x**


	2. Jac

**A/N: Sorry it took so long, but this is Jac's chapter. I've decided that I'm doing them in no particular order, so it'll be a surprise when I update who I've done it for in that chapter :) and thank you so much for all the lovely reviews - I apologise for not replying as time is practically non-existent just now!**

**This was so fun to write, so I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed reading it!**

**Sarah x**

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"OK," Michael began, the dread clear in his face. "Who's going first?" Jack just raised an eyebrow at him. She didn't really care who went first. She just wanted some entertainment out of this...thing. Whatever master class Jonny and Malick had constructed at the expense of some of their colleagues. "We'll flip for it," he suggested.

"If I flip you, it'll hurt," she smirked. She knew exactly what he meant, as he was digging through his trousers for a coin. She just liked to mess with him. Whether he admitted it or not, she knew she scared the life out of him. As arrogant as he was, he was well aware of Jac's abilities, and her personality.

He made a face at her and asked her, "Heads or tails to do it first?"

"Tails," she said, not even thinking about it. And, much to her amusement, tails showed up when he revealed the coin to her. She didn't even need to look to know it; his face said it all. "Come here, then," she said, keeping her face straight. This was going to be _fun_. She was getting to beat Michael Spence up, and she wouldn't even be reprimanded. What could be better?

He cautiously made his way over to her, standing about a foot and a half away from her. "Go on, then!" she told him. He looked at her blankly. "You've got to try and hit me!" she exclaimed impatiently. So he made a joke of it. Instead of just simply drawing his fist back, he squared up to her.

"You wanna fight? You wanna go there?" he said to her, as if they'd been in an argument. She couldn't help but snigger at his attempts at role play. Remembering what Jonny had said about how to position herself, she raised her hands, palms towards Michael's advancing body. "Come on, then, Naylor!" he dramatically challenged her. He pulled his fist back as though he was about to punch her.

Her hand immediately stopped him, landing on his lower arm. Just as Jonny and Malick demonstrated, she grabbed his upper arm and spun him by the shoulder. She didn't realise how much force she'd used until he protested loudly attracting attention from Ric and Elliot, who smirked and then got on with whatever they were doing with Serena and Sacha.

She rolled her eyes and stuck her knee straight up until it collided with his backside, to which he again protested. She forced her hands under his chin, pulling it upwards with a considerable amount of force. She was finding that she really _was_ enjoying this, after all her sulking about being yanked out of work for an hour to do it. Though the enjoyment may have been attributed to the fact that she was causing pain to someone who genuinely irritated her to no end.

"Did I hurt you?" she asked into his ear, pretending to be concerned. She was winding him up now, since she had him in a position he could not get out of.

"Yes," he snapped bitterly. "They said to spin me, not tear my arm off!" he exclaimed, genuinely miffed at the force she'd used on him. As she held him there, she realised this was actually a handy thing to know. Working in a hospital, it was a volatile place. People's tempers were stretched to their limits, and often patients' families could get out of hand. Sacha had been stabbed by accident, after all, so he was probably glad to know how to stop that from happening again.

Jac's thoughts returned to the task at hand. She pulled her elbows together, as close as they would go, and pushed them outwards. Before her eyes, Michael fell to the floor with a heavy thud, and then yet more muffled complaining. "Stop whining," she ordered him. "It can't have hurt that much; there's a mat there. Just imagine you're on a cold, wet pavement right now and be thankful we didn't do this there."

Her hands were still restraining him under his chin, so thankfully he couldn't fully articulate the swearing he was probably doing right now. On the down side, his voice was somehow even more annoying when muffled by her hands. She didn't think his voice was capable of being any more irritating than it normally was, but apparently he'd achieved the impossible today.

She proceeded to finish the task she'd been given by forcing his head sideways, pressing his jaw into her knee. He started punching the floor like a child and he accidentally hit her foot. "Michael!" she shouted. "That was my foot!" She pressed his face into her knee a little harder and muted shouts came from his mouth.

She heard stifled laughter on both sides of her and when she turned, she found Sacha and Serena, both doubled over laughing at poor incapacitated Michael. Even Ric was sniggering, and Elliot was smirking to himself. Michael's shouts were suppressed by her hands over his mouth, but he got his message across loud and clear.

"OK, Jac," Ric finally said. "I think you can let him go now." She smiled and took her hands from his face, allowing him to get up, rubbing his jaw with an extremely petulant expression on his face.

"Jeez, Naylor!" he shouted indignantly. "God help anybody who tries to mug you!"

Sacha and Serena behind her were finally regaining their composure, and by the time she reached her original position on the edge of the mat, Ric was shaking his head at him. "I think she left a bruise on my face," he said, feeling it for damage.

"Oh, don't be such a baby," Jac retorted. Michael just turned to Ric for some kind of back up, which he never got. He looked at Sacha, who was still trying to fully control his laughing fit. Then to Elliot, who just shrugged his shoulders with a smirk, and then to Serena who just threw him a very sweet, almost mocking, smile.

"I hate to say it, Michael," Ric grinned. "But I told you so."

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**Hope this is OK!  
Please feel free to leave a review and tell me what you think!  
Sarah x**


	3. Mo

**A/N: Sorry this took so long - I had problems with where to take this chapter. I chose to do this one from Mo's point of view, practising on Hanssen. And thank you for all the amazing reviews - much appreciated :)**

**Sarah x**

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Mo looked up at Hanssen with trepidation; the man had to be about six foot four! How was she meant to take him down?! And he was her boss – it wouldn't feel right. She almost went to tell Jonny Mac she wasn't doing it, but she could just imagine being called a chicken all day. He would mock her endlessly for bottling it.

"Ladies first," Hanssen broke the tense silence.

"Age before beauty," Mo immediately answered, _so_ not wanting to go first. He stared down at her, though she refused to admit he was making her nervous. She knew he wouldn't hurt her but it didn't stop him from being intimidating. She was a midget compared to him.

She stared up at him, almost amused when it dawned on her he was as worried about this as she was. The unflappable Director of Surgery was uneasy about having to learn self-defence. "Alright," she sighed, giving in. "I'll go first. Don't expect me to be any good at it though," she warned. "Jonny Mac's tried this on me before and it didn't work."

"I'm sure you will do just fine, Ms. Effanga," he said, but she saw he was anxious about it. She had a feeling he'd been roped into this without much of a way out. Jonny was awful good at doing that.

"Right," Mo sighed, breathing deeply as she tried to compose herself. "You're gonna have to threaten me or I won't be able to do it."

"I don't do well at being physically threatening," he confessed, and Mo just burst out laughing. "Is something funny?"

"Mr. Hanssen," she chuckled, "half the hospital is terrified of you!"

"That is not my intention," he said, looking rather troubled at the news he was more frightening than he knew. "I will try my best," he said. He walked up to her, and she could bring herself to even touch him – he looked even more panicked than she felt.

"No, no, Mr. Hanssen!" a call from Jonny came as he approached them. "You're being too nice. You've got to threaten her or she won't do it," he added, knowing Mo all too well. He stepped in front of him and demonstrated what he meant. "C'mon then!" he shouted, raising his hands to waist height threateningly, his stance one of thuggish swagger. "You wanting a fight, aye? Square go, pal!" he said, drawing back his hand, though Mo knew he would never hit her, not in a million years.

"Nurse Maconie, are you telling me to act like a thug?" Hanssen asked disbelievingly.

"Yep," Jonny smirked. "Pretty much."

"I can assure you that is not in my nature," he said stiffly, and Mo could tell that getting him to act the part would be half the battle. Jonny had told her before that it was all about role playing; she briefly wondered whether he'd deliberately paired her with the most reserved, polite person they knew.

"Come on," Jonny urged him. "I know you don't like being intimidating like that; we won't judge you for being a big softie," he grinned, and Mo stared at him wide-eyed, not believing he'd actually just said that to Henrik Hanssen. Did he _want_ to lose his job?!

Hanssen glared at Jonny, who wasn't at all fazed by the icy stare. Mo noticed Sacha and Elliot watching them intently, obviously very interested to see if they would actually get to see Hanssen on the floor.

Looking very nervous, he strode up to Mo, his expression cold, and drew back a fist, which was probably the only way he knew how to be menacing. She caught his arm, placing her other hand on his upper arm and spun him around with his arm behind him. He remained silent, not shouting and moaning like Michael Spence had done at the other end of the room.

She raised her knee, probably hitting him a little too hard. Well, hard enough she felt guilty about it. His back arched and she took him by the chin, her hands cupping his face, her fingers on his nose, wondering why he wasn't protesting by now. She took her elbows together and pushed them together and he immediately fell.

She twisted his head, his face hitting her knee hard, but she instantly took her hands off him when she heard an unpleasant crunching noise. Oh no. She stepped around him so she could see him from the front. His head was bowed, his hand over his mouth and nose.

She took his hand away from his face and saw nothing but blood where his pale hand had been covering. "Oh, no, Mr. Hanssen, I'm so sorry!" she said, panicking at the sight of his injured face.

"I will be absolutely fine," he tried to reassure her, wiping the blood away from his mouth so he wouldn't have to taste it. He pulled a handkerchief from his pocket, dabbing blood from his face. He winced when his fingers touched his nose, and Mo looked around for help. She gestured in Jac's general direction, and to her relief, both she and Serena Campbell stalked over.

"What's going on?" Jac demanded.

"I think I might have broken his nose," Mo whispered frantically.

"I'm fine," Hanssen denied, but his nose had swollen and look a bit off-centre. It was obviously broken, and Mo knew it could probably safely be cracked into place for now, but she didn't have the heart to do it. He stood up, still wiping blood from his face. He looked very pale; he must have been in a lot of pain.

"Let me see," Jac ordered him, and Mo glanced around, hoping Malick and especially Jonny hadn't noticed. She was never going to live this down if he found out.

Hanssen reluctantly allowed her to feel his nose lightly, not trusting Jac as far as he could kick her. She touched it too hard and he instantly pushed her hand away. "Good job, Maureen," Jac smirked. "You've broken his nose."

"I didn't mean it!" Mo replied. "I turned his head and his nose must've hit my knee!"

"Obviously," Serena said, and Mo looked at her to see she was repressing a smile. "It'll be fine," she assured. "It's not like you did it deliberately, is it?"

"Of course I didn't mean it!" Mo exclaimed. Serena reached up, doing what Jac had done and what Mo was too scared to do, feeling the area on and around his nose with more gentleness than Jac had used.

"Oh, God," Mo moaned as Jonny came up and surveyed the situation as he walked towards them.

"What's happened?" he asked.

"Mo broke Hanssen's nose," Jac smirked as Jonny's face broke into an unsuppressed grin. "She hit his face too hard off her knee, we think."

"I will be just fine," Hanssen said, as Serena assessed what to do with his nose. "It was an unfortunate acci-" he began, until there was another crack, and he groaned loudly in pain. Serena had cracked his nose back into place in a fashion only an experienced doctor could have managed. "You could have warned me, Ms. Campbell!" he scolded.

"You wouldn't have let me do it," she shrugged with a grin. "Best to get you when you're distracted."

"I do hope you don't use such tactics on your patients," he said, gingerly feeling his nose to see if it was back into place properly. From what Mo could see, Serena had done a very good job of resetting his nose.

"Don't tell me you've never done it," Serena challenged, her tone light and cheerful, the perfect contrast to Hanssen's evil-looking glower.

"Do you want painkillers or something?" Jonny asked, clearly worried that Hanssen was in too much pain.

"I will be alright, thank you," he replied. Jac looked up at him, slightly in awe, and Serena just shook her head with a grin at his obstinacy. Mo was just relieved she hadn't done any lasting damage.

"You might have to go and get a splint on that once they let us out of here," Jac reminded him. He looked rather unenthusiastic about that, and Jac snorted as he walked away. Mo shifted uncomfortably, knowing how much pain his nose must have been in.

"Are you going to be OK?" Serena asked Hanssen.

He gave her a curt nod and said, "I'll survive." Serena gave them both a smile and walked back to Ric, who had been looking on with Michael, both wearing a look of amused concern.

Jonny was smirking and said quietly to Mo as he passed, "Nice work. I wouldn't like to get on the wrong side of you." Mo looked at him in disbelief, and slapped his arm for his impudence.

"Very funny, Maconie!" she snapped. She turned to Hanssen and said again, "I'm so sorry. I didn't realise I used that much force."  
"Accidents happen," he told her, giving her a small smile. "And besides, if I had been an attacker, a broken nose would be a good result, would it not?" he pointed out, obviously trying to make her feel better.

"I guess," she allowed.

"Now, Ms. Effanga," he said. "Shall we get back to our lesson?"

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**Hope this is OK!  
Please feel free to leave a review and say what you thought!  
Sarah x**


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